closer to 2 now

so its 1:30 and i'm still awake with mind racing, and a heart that is fearful, cautious, frustrated, confused, and sad after a conversation with a couple close friends. My body is so tired and worn down from this sickness, but my mind won't stop to let me sleep. I went into the conversation in prayer, but I haven't done a great job giving it to God since. Don't you hate when you think of things you wished you shared in a conversation as you are pondering it later on? I'm glad for these friendships that they are open books and so this story can continue to be written and i can bring my thoughts back to the table. This whole life of friendships and the attempt to follow Jesus is such a process. It would be nice if one conversation tidy'd everything up. Patience is a great virtue but in my life is strictly a fruit of the Spirit, nothing I possess in and of myself. Come Holy Spirit, come.

For all you out there praying, thank you and I could continue to use it. I was very tired after just a one hour trip to the office to meet with Mike Borst this evening (my first time I've been able to make it to the church since I've been sick!). Thankfully, the wonderful Hannah had dinner waiting on me when I returned and Matt dropped in for a conversation, which are never long enough. In other good news, I made a 20 minute walk around the Hauer residence last night, health here I come. Hannah and her parents have been a great help in that, taking me in to their home each weekend, feeding me, buying me herbal supplements, and watching over me, allowing me to sleep in peace for hours on end. Don't you worry Ruth and Cisco, I'm on my way.

In better news, here's Hannah and I during a beautiful day at the beach back in MD, sadly the first day of my sickness.