elegant and tired

so, the name for my blog came from the Chili Peppers song, "Universally Speaking."
The song begins...
I saw your face
Elegant and tired
Cut up from the chase
still, i so admire
bloodshot your smile
Delicate and wild

I couldn't help but think of Christ during the week leading up to his death on the Cross and imagining that this was a perfect description of what he would have looked like. and it's my hope that people would see the same wild yet delicate smile on my face even in the midst of the trials which life throws at me.

This has been a week of trial in the sense of wrestling through issues at the core of my being especially the desires and expectations that I have of myself. I too often want to be 50 while I'm only 23. Gosh, it is so hard for me being young, some people wrestle with getting older but I crave it - if I could be 50 I'd love it. Sadly, I know that I don't get the attributes a 50 year old has without going through 23-49 and I know that at 50 I'll wish I was 60 and so on. I really need God to develop a patient spirit within me. I don't want to miss all that he has for me at 23 and the fact that being 23 gives me a unique perspective and opportunity which has incredible value.
The thing is that while I'll readily admit to God my failures and don't have a problem being honest before him, but I do not beg for his strength to overcome. I ask for his comfort and support with how I'm feeling, but not his strength to change. That needs to shift in my life.

Check out this sweet passage: Buy the truth and do not sell it
Proverbs 23:23 - A very appropriate reference for this year of my life